Not long ago, the media was in an uproar over actress Kim Sae-ron’s passing. Just months before, the same people who had relentlessly criticized her for her DUI incident were now expressing sympathy, saying, "The world was too harsh on her." The irony is impossible to ignore.

South Korea holds the unfortunate title of having the highest youth suicide rate among OECD countries—a ranking it has stubbornly maintained for years. Perhaps the relentless scrutiny and social expectations that weighed on Kim Sae-ron reflect a deeper issue: a society that leaves little room for its youth to make mistakes, struggle, or simply be human.

To combat this crisis, efforts are being made to teach young people how to be happy. Various "happiness textbooks" have emerged, outlining strategies for a more fulfilling life. However, many parents seem to ignore these lessons in practice, treating them as mere theoretical guidelines while continuing to push their children toward relentless academic and social achievement.

A former Minister of Education in Korea led a group of psychology advisors to create a "10 Principles of Happiness" curriculum. While I cannot share all ten principles here, I’d like to highlight a few that could benefit not just Korean parents, but also those raising children abroad, particularly in places like Australia. Instead of blindly following the trend of intensive academic training, perhaps parents can focus on incorporating these happiness principles into their children's upbringing.

Key Principles of Happiness for Children and Parents

1. Happiness Looks Different for Everyone

For children to be truly happy, they need to discover and embrace their unique identities. Unfortunately, many parents believe that happiness comes from following a pre-defined blueprint—one modeled after the success of others. They assume that replicating the lives of high-achievers will automatically lead to fulfillment.

Take, for example, the "7-Year-Old Exam" in Seoul’s affluent Gangnam district. Children as young as six are reportedly taking tests based on American middle school textbooks just to secure a spot in an elite English academy. An estimated 1,400 children apply to this program, with parents believing that early academic success will guarantee a bright future. The trend has even spread to cities like Busan.

But true happiness does not come from copying someone else’s path. Parents must help their children find their own sense of joy, rather than imposing rigid, externally-defined standards. And before they do that, they must first discover what happiness means for themselves.

2. Gratitude Leads to Happiness

Gratitude is a powerful emotion. It shifts focus away from comparison and towards appreciation for what we already have. Studies show that people who practice daily gratitude sleep better, experience lower stress levels, and enjoy better overall health.

Yet, many parents in Korea feel uneasy when their children express contentment. They worry that being satisfied means their child will lose ambition or fall behind their peers. Instead of encouraging gratitude, they push for more achievement, fearing that their children will otherwise become complacent.

For teenagers, who face immense pressure and uncertainty about their futures, keeping a daily gratitude journal could be life-changing. It provides emotional stability and helps them navigate challenges with a healthier mindset.

3. Having a Dream Brings Happiness

A study in the U.S. found that only 3% of students had clearly written down their goals during adolescence. Years later, those same 3% had amassed more wealth and career success than the remaining 97% combined. While financial success isn’t the sole measure of happiness, this finding suggests that having a clear vision for one’s future fosters resilience and motivation.

However, the key is that these dreams must come from the child—not the parent. Parents should encourage their children to explore their passions and create their own roadmaps rather than dictating predetermined paths to success. To do this effectively, parents must first clarify their own vision and philosophy for raising their children.

4. Happiness is Found in the Present

Many parents believe their children must achieve something extraordinary to be happy. They push them to become the best in a particular field, sacrificing present joy for a supposedly better future.

A friend’s grandchild was admitted to Seoul National University, a moment of immense pride for the family. The child’s mother had devoted every waking hour to studying alongside them, ensuring their academic success. But one day, during university, the child fell ill. They were rushed to the hospital, where they tragically passed away. The family was left to wonder: Had they known how short their child’s life would be, would they have spent so much time focused solely on achievement?

Success and long-term goals matter, but so does embracing happiness in everyday life. Parents must allow their children to experience small joys rather than postponing happiness for some distant milestone. Instead of constantly emphasizing grades and accomplishments, families should also cultivate shared moments of laughter, love, and connection.

5. Happiness Takes Practice

There is a Korean proverb that says, "Only those who have eaten meat before know how to enjoy it." The same applies to happiness—it does not simply appear; it must be experienced and practiced.

People who have spent their lives sacrificing for others often struggle to say “no” without feeling guilty. Parents who only know how to push their children toward academic success may find it difficult to let them simply enjoy life. But practicing happiness means allowing children to take breaks, have fun, and develop a sense of independence.

In the past, many Korean parents lived selflessly, giving everything to their children while neglecting their own happiness. My own mother, for example, never spent money on herself—she always prioritized giving to her grandchildren or helping others. While generosity is a virtue, parents must also learn to enjoy life for themselves. Only then can they teach their children to do the same.

Final Thoughts: A Call for Change

Other key happiness principles include shifting perspectives, finding fulfillment in immersion, and recognizing that happiness grows when shared. Ultimately, raising successful children should not be the primary goal—raising happy and healthy individuals should be.

South Korea must work toward a future where it no longer ranks first in youth suicide. It is our collective responsibility to ensure that young people can live by the principles of happiness rather than being crushed under societal expectations.

If we truly want a better world for our children, the first step is clear: We must stop demanding perfection from them and start allowing them to simply be happy.

Dr. Mi-Jin Seo
Associate Dean, Australian Christian College
Director, Korean Lifeline Australia

*This article is a translated and reorganized version of the Christian Today.